The Gang Reads Fanfiction
by TheSwarklesLover
Summary: The title is pretty self-explanatory, Ted comes upon a strange site, and finds stories about him and the gang, and other people in his life as well. How will everyone react to the stories. Give this a try, I think it'll get a laugh out of you!
1. A Strange and Creepy Discovery

This is just a parody thing I saw on a Harry Potter fic. So basically, characters come upon the site and discover fanfic about them. This is for comedic purposes, and I really don't mind anyone who likes a ship, it is just a character's reaction to the story. I'd like to point out, I don't use real stories.

* * *

It was another day off, which meant another day of doing nothing. Ted found himself sitting back on a couch, drinking beer. 'This is the life', he thought to himself as he looked down into the half empty bottle. He scanned the room, and saw his laptop sitting on his desk, maybe the internet had something to offer? Perhaps he should go watch that Sci-Fi movie, but first buy some tickets. He proceeded toward his laptop, went on to google an began to type in "Fandango". Ted noticed Fandango had already shown up as a suggested search after typing in 'Fan', and clicked on it. Huh? Fanfiction? Had he accidentally clicked on the wrong search? Most likely. Actually.. this site sounded interesting, just a peek. then back to movie tickets. Curiously, Ted clicked on the link. Wow, this was a weirdly laid out site. What the hell did this all mean, movies, TV, BOOKS? What is all of this? Ted randomly decided to click a category, TV. Top 200? What are all these shows. he recognized some shows like 'Glee', what were there so many stories on here about? Maybe this was some type of forum website where people discussed episodes? Ted's then jumped with excitement as he looked from 'Woodworthy Manor'. He went to the search bar, and clicked the 'W'. Unfortunately, he found none. Defeated, he decided to click on 'Just in'. Random stories popped up, what was this all about? He scrolled down, and froze. had he just seen his name somewhere? Impossible.

Ted scrolled back up a little, nope it was his name. Well, that probably meant nothing, it's a big world. there are probably countless Ted Mosby's out there. Right? He looked at the category he was under, 'How I Met Your Mother'. Weird title. he clicked on it to see if there were any more 'Ted Mosby stories. As the stories began to fill the page, Ted's jaw dropped to the ground. All his friends' names were there, Robin, Barney, Marshall ,and Lily. That wasn't the scary part, the stories had cover photos... of them. This was a creepy invasion of privacy, surely Ted could get Marshall in on this, try and sue this creepy site. Ted began to feel a little scared now. Perhaps he should read one of these stories first to see what they'd be like, maybe they weren't bad?

After scrolling through an endless amount of titles, Ted looking picked a romantic one (being the hopeless romantic he is). This one had no cover photo. Seems safe enough. He read the title: 'Be Mine, Forever'. Ted couldn't help but smile at the title, it sounded cute. Summary, there was a summary? Ted began to read it.

By: NPHLOVER4LYFE

Who was that, Ted wondered.

Summary: This is just a cute little one-shot I thought of-

'One shot?' Ted thought. What the hell is that? He proceeded to read.

anyways. it's just a little fluff-

What? Is this author implying the story has a texture/feel to it? What does 'fluff' mean? This seems like a creepy website, using strange words and all.

I might turn this into a drabble series, since this story is a drabble-

Okay, he'd officially had it with the words on this site. Ted knew a lot of intelligent vocabulary, but he'd never head these words in his life. He continued reading.

Enjoy!

Ted laid on the bed, watching the love of his life sleep.

Love of his life? Not too sound like a whiny-ass, but he had none.

Ted giggled at how cute he looked.

Had Ted just read that right? HE? The last time Ted checked, he was very straight. Probably a typo.

Ted leaned in and kissed him on the forehead, hoping to wake him.

Him... maybe it wasn't a typo. Ted shook a little, feeling uncomfortable, hoping this story wasn't about him.

They'd had a wild night last night (dat means they had sex).

How old was this author, five?

He giggled and began to emerge from sleep. His blue eyes bet his brown eyes.

"Morning, "Barney-boo," Ted whispered softly. "Sleep well?"

After reading that line, Ted spewed out his beer, spraying the monitor a bit. Him and.. BARNEY?! Maybe this was about him.. and his life. Ted looked about ready to throw up. He took a few deep breaths and continued.

Barney giggled. "You know I did." he winked.

No. No. No. No. NO! The odds of Barney Stinson sleeping with him were like the same odds of him finding the one. 1/100000000000000000000... (some number with a lot of zeroes). Ted literally had to go to the bathroom to throw up. It's not like he had a problem with gay dudes or anything, just the very thought of him and Barney made him go 'Ew.'

"I can't wait too get married Barney Bear." he sighed, rubbing his bare chest.

Ted put his hand on top of his mouth, keeping the vomit in.

"I love you."  
"I love you too."  
Then they made love again.

It's over. Why did Ted bother reading through that? He scrolled down, hoping there was no more. No more, but the author did leave an ending note.

AN: Aw, I hope you guys enjoyed that! 'Barned' is my OTP. I really do hope they end up together. There's an undeniable amount of chemistry between Josh and Neil, both on and off screen-

Neil... Josh? Who?

Anyways, I hope you loved that story!

Ted shook his head. He most definitely did not like that story. He finished reading the last sentence.

Please leave reviews, and suggestions if you want more Barned from me!

NO! NO MORE! Also, what the hell was Barned? A morphing of their two names? Curiously, Ted looked at reviews to see what people thought of this crap.

Guest: AWWW THAT WAS SO ADORIBLE. I LUV THOSE TOO!

No, it was not adorable, and the proper use of the word is 'two'.

CullenLoverxoxoxox: I love those two together, maybe you could right some Femlash? ;)

Actually, The proper spelling of the word is 'write'. Also, what the hell was femlash?

69LilyAldrinShouldDie69-

The name caught Ted slightly off guard, and freaked out a little.

:I'd like to see a story where you brutally murder Lily. Hate that bich.

Who was this psycho? Lily is a good and nice friend! Also, the correct spelling is- aw, screw it. People seemed so dumb on this site, why even try?

SwarklingAllDayLong: I luved that sooooo much. You should do Swarkles fluff!

What in the hell was Swarkles? This site was weird... and creepy. He needed to get Marshall in on this. Ted reached for his phone on the table and called him.

"Hey Marshall..."

"Ted, you sound scared, what's wrong...?"

"Just come over."

"Okay?" Marshall said slightly confused. "Why?"

"Just come over." Ted pressed.

"I'll be right there."

Ted looked horrified at the screen, what would everyone make of this?

* * *

So what did people think of this idea? yay or nay? As I mentioned, I saw something like this on a Harry Potter fic, and I attempted one. I thought this one was pretty funny, and I'm pretty proud of it. I used Tedxbarney, cause there's quite a few fics about them. I'm not including any sort of dark topics that some stories have. Oh, just to be clear, this is obviously set before Ted met Tracy. I find it funnier that way in the sense Ted is single.


	2. Mpreg and evil bitch

I couldn't resist writing another chapter. RSparkles asked for them to read Femlash, I want to wait until the whole gang is there to read that, Barney being a perv, Lily being weirdly turned on, and Robin getting scared of how turned on Lily is would be hilarious in my opinion. I'll hold that idea until we get all the gang reading. This topic... is unusual to me. It is not frequent in the HIMYM fandom. but it's a very popular element in fanfic.

* * *

"Ted, you called, you sounded panicked!" Marshall called out, as Ted opened the door.

"I am." Ted sounded about ready to cry.

"Dude, you're sweating like crazy. What the hell happened?" Marshall asked with concern in his voice.

"That." Ted pointed at the gray laptop sat down on the couch.

"Your laptop?" Marshall was confused.

"No, it's what's on the laptop," Ted explained. "There are stories... about us."

"I... don't follow." Marshall was dumbfounded as to what he was trying to say.

"Come here," Ted said, guiding him to the laptop. "This website."

Marshall analyzed the page for a second. "Wait... are those... our names... and pictures?"

"Yes." Ted slowly nodded.

"That's really creepy." Marshall commented.

"That's all? Can't we try and sue them?"

"Maybe, but it'd be hard. Taking a look at it, there are thousands of users on this site, it'd be hard for us to win a case like that."

"Ugh." Ted groaned.

"So, what kind of stories are these people writing?" Marshall asked.

Ted stared at him, not knowing how to answer.

"Ted?"

"Um... okay, it was.."

"It was what, Ted?"

"Some sicko wrote about me and Barney... together... in bed..."

"Ted, come on! You take me out of Tuxedo night, can't you at least invite me to these slumber parties?!" Marshall was clueless.

"No Marshall, I mean, 'in bed'." Ted hinted.

"Oh... OH! EW, GOD! WHY DID YOU PUT THAT DISGUSTING IMAGE IN MY HEAD?"

" I KNOW RIGHT?"

"I want to see more stories." Marshall said solemnly.

"No, dude you can-"

"I WANT TO READ THEM!" Marshall yelled.

"Okay! Jeez! But you pick!"

"I most certainly will pick a story," Marshall nodded. "The Bitch Dies".

"Excuse me?" Ted asked.

"No, 'The Bitch Dies', that's the story name."

"You want to read that?"

"Yes, I actually do."

"Okay, go ahead, but I'm warning you, this site is just lurking with freaky shit."

Marshall laughed a little.

"What?" Ted asked.

"Never have I heard you say 'freaky shit'," Marshall responded. "Anyways, let us have a look at this story, shall we?"

"I guess..." Ted said, trembling with fear.

Marshall clicked on the story.

'The Bitch Dies' by LilyAldrinIsAnEvilBitch666-

"SHE IS NOT!" Marshall screamed, spraying the screen with his spit.

"These people sure hate Lily." Ted commented.

"What do you mean?" Marshall asked.

"Nevermind." Ted said.

Marshall returned to the story.

Summary: Two characters are in love, but another character gets in the way-

"This sounds so cliche already." Ted laughed.

"Sure does." Marshall scoffed. He continued reading.

But, something happens that force the two to come together. Will they face their obstacles, or crash? I know this summary sux, but it's better than it sounds.

"I can't believe this person spelled 'sucks' S-U-X." Marshall said.

"There are a LOT of idiots roaming on this site. Trust me."

"It seems so." Marshall laughed before returning to read.

"WHERE IS MEE FOOD, THOU BASTARD!" The red whore screamed.

"I'm sorry, Lily! The pancakes aren't quite ready yet.

"WHAT DID YOU CALL ME, SCOUNDREL?!"

"SORRY, I mean my beautiful angel queen!" Marshall whimpered.

Marshall looked up from the screen. "This is not what goes on at home. Like at all." He continued reading, not wanting to stop. He'd gotten the idea that all this writer wrote would be stupid.

"HURRY UP BASTERD!" The syco bitch hore piece of fucking shit screamed.

"I am, my princess!" He then finished reely quikly because Marshell was scared the bitch would kill him like she had once killed her best bruther named Marcus forr noth polishing the whore bitches shoes like she said except Marvicus did polish her shoes write its just that Lilie is such a stupid fucking ass horse face.

Ted had to stop to laugh. "Is that English... has his person heard of commas?"

"Hard to tell. I was thinking it was some form of German. Also, why did my brother's name go from Marcus to Marvicus?"

"Don't question the ways of the site, it has a mind of its own, or rather contains the minds of idiots." Ted joked.

"Yeah," Marshall agreed before reading once again.

"Your pancaks are redy my dear!" He said cutely.

Lillie grabbed the cakes of pan from his hand and gnawed on it. "DESE DONT HAVE ENOUGH LARD!" The fat whore screamed, she was 1000000 pounds.

"i didn't use lard, i WAS concerned for ur helth my dear."

"MY HELTH? I AM FUCKING FINE! U SEEN MY BODY? EVERY DAY, U WISH TO FUCK ME BUT U KNOW ITS NEVER HAPPENING. NOW GO. OFF FOR THE DAY, UR NOT EEAZY ON THE EYES."

Marshall walked out. He hated that hore, but he had to stay safe from getting killed. From getting his bae killed. Marshelle-

"I swear my name has changed like 6 times in this story."

"Once again, don't question the site."

walked out of the castle. He found his beau waiting outside on the bridge for him.

"Beau...? That's a male..."

"Marshall did you forget what I said about Barney and I being paired up? Anything could happen."

"Ewww..." Marshall groaned at the thought.

He made his way to his lover, Ted-

"EW!" They both screamed in unison. To be safe they inched a little away from each other.

"How art thou your day of work today?"

"It waz terible. Da hore was so meen." he cried.

"Aw baby dont cry! Dont be thou art thou sad. I iz here, so is our babie."

Marshele smiled, and pat his luver's baby bump.

"WHAT THE-" Marshall screamed exasperated.

"I CAN'T-!"

Neither of them were able to get out sentences.

"MARSHALL SUE THEM! THIS IS DISGUSTING! STOP READING IT! STOP IT NOW!"

"I WANT TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS!" Marshall protested, and read, shakily.

"How you feeling honey? You coming along okay?"

"Ye, just sum cramps. Not as much pain as what that monster has caused u!"

Suddenly, a jester came runninmg out of da castle. "SHE DAED! SHE DEAD!"

"Who?" Tedothy asked politely.

"THE RED BITCH." She turned into a balloon and floted away and popped.

"Like Aunt Marge in Harry Potter?" Marshall asked.

"Technically, Aunt Marge didn't-"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever Ted."

"HURRAY!" The two lovers cheered before feroshisly making out. Then out of a tree came thire friends Barnabus and Robinella, they were making out too!

"Uh oh." Teddy suddenly annonced.

"What!" Robinella asked.

"My water broke."

AN: Okay guyz, that was the end of chap 1. Tell me if you liked it in a review! I'll continue, I just luv leaving you in suspense.

Marshall scrolled down. "Ted, this has two chapters."

"Wait, you're not suggesting we should keep reading..."

"I am."

* * *

So... should they keep reading, or move on? Tell me in a review. This story comes from my really weird and creepy sense of humor, so feel free to move on if you're already uncomfortable, I am bound to write weird things.


End file.
